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Piss on this
...written on January 20, 2005, @ 20:04

Diaryland is doing some weird stuff

Because diaryland is doing some hosting thing I can't get on and update and I really need to update. So as of now I'm sitting at my computer listening to some music and typing in notepad, thank god for that! Things have been looking up a little bit, but today was a piece of shit and last night wasn't that good either. But I read an e-mail that brought tears of joy to my eyes (THANK YOU CHRISTINA!)

The whole Ricky thing has been resolved, we're e-mailing back and forth not really visting each other's sites and I think it's better this way. I mean now we won't get mad at each other for what we say in our diaries. We started e-mailing because after like four days I went to read his diary and saw that he was sorry about what happened between us so I decided to send an e-mail telling him my feelings on the issue. Sure it was dumb of him to get on the defense, but it was even dumber of me to bring up the issue. As of now we're cool and I'm glad because I can't really see myself not talking to him, it's weird.

Home life is sucky as always. Ok I'll give you a vivid example on how lazy Erika is. She rode the bus home and she reached the house before I did and she went to the bathroom well on her way there she says that one of our dogs took a shit in the house and goes, "oooo, you're in trouble." Well I put my stuff in the room (I walk past it) and I let the dogs out and I think that Erika is going to clean it up because I had cleaned up dog piss yesterday. I get on the computer and I hear her talking to Mateo - one of our dogs - and then she just goes to her room and listens to music! WHAT THE HELL?! I had to clean up dog shit because someone wanted to a lazy ass bitch. I'm pissed off and I'm slamming all the doors I can because I cannot believe that she couldn't just clean it up (it took maybe 5 minutes). When mom and dad get home she has the nerve to ask them if her little friend Maggie can stay for a few days because her brother got out of jail and he's not supposed to be near them and what not. Like idiots they said, "Yes." Ok great, this crazy dude is looking for her and you're going to let her stay at our house? Who's going to protect me? Before I try to go sleep I hear Erika on the phone and someone calls for me and like the bitch she is she goes, "She's here but I'm on the phone." She was on the phone for a good HOUR! I FUCKING HATE HER SO MUCH! I really want her to move out. Ok so it's not just her, mom asked for this DVD that she let me borrow and I'm walking back towards my room so I say, "Yeah I got it." And dad with his bitchy self goes, "WELL GO GET IT!" What do you think I was going to do, stare at it? I can't watch it because someone decided to get Theresa the shittest dvd player on earth. And today dad called to see if mom was home and I told him she wasn't so he told me to tell her to call him once she got home. I did. Her cell phone was ringing but she didn't hear it because she was messing with the dogs outside then their house phone was ringing and she said she'd get it in their room. I guess she just missed it because my phone started to ring and dad's like, "Where's Jane?" I told him she was in the house and he goes, "Well tell her to fucking call me." How the hell is he going to call MY phone and start cussing? That's some gay shit.

I don't sleep well at nights because Erika's little friends are always calling. I don't understand why she gets all bitchy with me when I talked to Wes for an hour and a half (I hadn't seen in him like a month), but I can't say shit to her about all these calls that wake me up. I really want her to move out with her little friend Maggie because she's really starting to get on my nerves. This morning wasn't good either, I was irritated from yesterday so I guess I had residual anger and I unleshed that on some band people. Matt was being dumb asking where Mr. Smith was when they had told us that they'd be in Tulsa for CODA. Mrs. Bellows directed us today (damn those wind ensemble people, I wanted Mr. Ortega) and everyone took it upon themselves to talk everytime we stopped. Alton being the main person, then that guy next to him was just tapping away on his saxaphone with this ligature.I had it so I just told them to shut up and everytime he'd say something I gave him the dirtiest looks. Mrs. Bellows says that we might cut the Scherzo down to just three clarinets because we don't sound good and I'm taking that personal because I freaking practice my ass off and I'm 6th chair (Megan sucks so fucking bad so I'm not sure HOW she beat me and Jourdan). I really want to play there, it's a little soli part for us six clarinets. Well I'm talking to Jessica out in the hall and Jarrell decides he wants to tell me to be quiet and I already don't like him because of all that shit he was talking to me during marching season so I let him have it.

I made a B on my anatomy test so next time we have a test I'm making an A, I didn't study as much as I should've so that's why I made a B. This semester I'm aiming for straight A's. But I think that's going to be a little hard because right now Math is starting to get a little hard, I'm sorry but triginomitry isn't my thing. Yet, I do have an A in the class and Garrett has a D. He told me that his dog died the other day and I felt so bad for him, but his dog was old. The world is coming to an end because Jessica asked me for help on math, she's a math whiz. The past few days I've just been bogged down with a lot of homework and today is like the only day this week that I don't have any. Yesterday Eisham asked me if I talked to Wes and Erin was right there with her. It's funny because this was Eisham's second day back (she went to Paskistan) and how could she notice that Wes wasn't there? I knew Erin had her ask me and I just said that I don't talk to him and I don't know. I didn't want to tell her. Oh I've been seeing Wade around a lot these past few days and he'll wave at me and everything, he's so hot. Jaqulin thinks the same thing as me, she's so funny. I found out that Joel's girlfriend is "cheating" on him and I feel so bad because he's a really good guy, I think that him and Abigail should get together. My mom and I talked the other day and I realized what I'm going to do after I graduate: I'm going to OU for like two years then I'm going to join the military. I'm not sure if I'm going into the Air Force or the Army, I want gung-ho, I want people in my face yelling "GET DOWN AND GIVE ME TWENTY SOILDER!" and the Air Force babies people. I'll become either an MP, SP or work in OSI and I'll go to Korea for a year then Germany for three and back stateside and find a job as a cop somewhere. I have to work out a lot of the details but that's a pretty good guideline if I think so myself.

Right now my dad is acting like he's king of the world and I'm so not ready for them to start the whole, "I'm leaving" thing because I'm emotionally and physically drained. If they do that I think I'll just call grandma and tell her to come get me because I don't want to deal with this shit. I still haven't gotten a car yet and dad hasn't said anything about it. I don't want anything FANCY, a 90 something with four doors, AC/heating, radio and windows that roll down. How hard is that to find? And I know it'll be MY car because Erika can't get her license because of her epilepsy and it's not like anyone was going to teach her and she didn't want to go to Brown's Driving School. I want the car because marching season is a bitch and I'm always up at the school, I'm supposed to be taking classes at Moore/Norman this summer and I want a freaking job. Speaking of job I think Wes got the job at the ice cream parlor, I called to talk to him and Kaylee told me that he wouldn't get off of work until around 11PM. So we'll see if/when he calls me back if he does work at the ice cream place or what. That lucky little bastard.

Daniel has been heart broken and I feel so bad for him. He went out with two different girls and they've just messed him up for life. All he wants is sex and chicken. He says that after he has sex he wants to have chicken. It sucks that his preception of relationships has been warped because he's a really sweet guy. He said if he has a kid and it's a girl he'll name her Theresa. Ha, I'd like to think he wasn't kidding. Jamee and Anthony are doing good and I'm glad of that because that's my homie and I don't want to have to give this guy a piece of my mind. I don't want a boyfriend, they're too much trouble for me and my friends are enough. Although most of them are leaving me because they're seniors, I'll never be the same again.

Christina sent me an e-mail that was meant to cheer me up because she reads my diary and read what had happened and it brought tears of joy to my eyes. To her the distance between her and her friends is nothing. I'm so greatful to be her friend because she does know what to say, tell me something about a hot guy and I'm doing well. I hope I'm like that went I "leave the nest". I still talk to a few of my friends from AFNORTH, but not as many as I would like to. Oh yes GOOD JOB to Maile she made a freaking C on her test. I'm so proud of her because I'm always like, "Did you study?" I think it gets annoying sometimes, but at least she is, I can't help but be a mother hen.

Well I have to study for my vocab test in english tomorrow, read Huck Finn, do reader responses and find a topic for my satirical essay tomorrow. I'm actually reading a book book. I'm so happy because I love reading but I never really had time. It's about a phsycologist and his wife's murder and what not. It doesn't seem too bad right now, but then I'm only on like page 12. Few things keep me sane these days, reading, playing my instrument and thinking of happy times with friends. Like today I walked the dogs and I walked along the same sidewalk I would walk on to go to Wes's house. Thinking of him sometimes makes me really happy or really sad, it comes and goes and it all depends. I hope that we don't fall out of touch with each other becuase he was a huge part of my world for nearly two years and it would really suck for me to loose someone that close to me. We'll see...

I've been typing for a pretty long time and now I'm going to see if I can transfer all of this over to my diary (which I hope I can, but if not no biggie I'll just use the NOTEPAD for awhile), then go eat something for dinner.

Bad thing that happened today: while reaching for my brush a britsle went under my nail and cut me
Good thing that happened today: Ricky IMed me and told me hi and he loved me.

Theresa

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