urban glitz

Taking the good with the bad
...written on February 07, 2005, @ 21:08

It's actually not that bad

Last night I actually ate something and didn't sneak around about it. I couldn't care less if anyone KNEW that I was eating so late, I just didn't want to see anyone.

I turned off the tv after I finished watching a good episode of Law&Order: SVU. Man it was so interesting that I couldn't stop watching it. I turned off the tv at around 11PM. Then I rolled over and fell asleep.

I woke up and I really angry that I had to wake up, I really just wanted to sleep. But I got up and took my shower. I did the usual and I heard the garage open so I was like, "Damn." I stayed in my room until around 7AM then I went out there and got a glass of chocolate milk because there was NOTHING else for breakfast. When I walk out and get ready to close the garage on the key pad thing I was pissed to find that SOMEONE (Erika) decided to leave the key cover half on the hinges. While I'm half way down the street I hear the garage open and try to close, but reset itself, then close. Erika had to stoop to my level and ride the bus. I got the bus stop and stood there she walked past me and I turned my back on her. I couldn't even look at her.

I get on the bus and I just wished so hard that Wes was going to get on any minute, but it didn't work. When I really needed him, why did he have to move? I walked to my locker then that LONG walk down to the band room. I get there and I see Megan all teary eyed - her and Jarrett broke up like sunday - and I'm like, "Who cares?" Jessica and I chit chat for a little bit. We're not even done with the warm-up when this Marine guy comes in and is like, "I would like to tell you about the Marine Band." That's basically all he said and Curtis was asking all these dumb ass questions. I just wanted to turn around and tell him to shut up, even Mr. Smith looked like he wanted to. We played and I got off, I think stopping and not being able to tune threw me off.

We started on ears today. It's not so bad taking notes this way because you don't have to copy down all this stuff that you don't even understand. I just don't want to take an essay formatted test. Zach got all "You're so dumb" with me because I didn't know what cauliflower of the ear was. Like I'm supposed to know, I'm in BAND! No sports. So that kind of had me irritated.

History was great. I love history, I like learning about what caused what and what REALLY happened. Since Mr. Pennington is huge on history I found out some new things. While sitting there watching a movie on Adolf Hitler and wondering why he thought Aryans were the superior race I decided that I will read Mein Kampf. That sounds a little absurd, but I want to know what was going through his head and why he developed such a hatred for Jews. I'm not going to become a Nazi so don't worry.

Psychology was cool. I talked to Addison a little bit. While having a huge discussion on some disorders I realized that hippy is a really funny word to me. I just think about the "hippy dance" and all the stuff that comes along with hippies and I just laugh. I don't know, I'm just a little weird. I really like that class though.

English was pretty cool. Found out that we didn't do too bad on our Modest Proposal questions and I missed ONE on my vocab test. Then we split into our Huck Finn groups. Our project isn't due until Thursday and I'm so happy about that. I got some stuff done and we're still debating on what we should keep and not keep in this project. Right now I don't feel like I've done enough. Oh well, I can't do all the work.

Ok I didn't really like math today. It seemed like everyone was just getting on my case. I can understand if I'm talking to you and you want to say something to what I said, but if you're in my business then don't say anything. I was talking to Jessica and I said, "They're asian." And Kacia and Garrett are like, "Man Theresa you're racist." Ok seriously, it wasn't racist it was stereotyping! I was so freaking irriated about that because I LOVE asian people and I was just kidding. It's like everyone saying, "Yeah, Theresa you have rhythm...you're black." Man, I'm just not going to talk to those people anymore because I'm tired of that shit. Tyler wasn't being an ass today. I found out that I got a 92.54% in that class, yes!

I get on the bus and Erika isn't on there, yes! So I'm minding my own business looking out the window wondering if I can sleep when I get home or if I have too much homework. I got off the bus and was walking home when I see a white car pull out in front of this SUV really quick and I see a black hand, before it passed I knew who it was, Lance and Keyon. Hm, wasn't Lance the one talking shit about Erika? Yes well it seems like they're friends now. I shouldn't worry about her skanky ass anymore.

Once I open the garage I see Jane is home, still. I walk past the dishwasher, not emptied. Yeah, who's lazy now bitch? She leaves some where and I empty the dishwasher and as I'm doing that I reset the timer on Erika's food in the oven for another minute longer. She comes out there just as I return to putting dishes away. Almost caught! I start doing homework I left dad a message on his phone saying that I needed money. Then the recruiter guy calls again. I really need to set up an appointment, he's going to call me monday next week because I have the ACT saturday.

Well I'm studing and I'm actually in a good mood, don't know why. Then dad comes home and is a little mad about the message I leave on his phone because I was blunt about it. He sat down and we "talked". It was a shitty talk because everything I said he sort of was like, "No it's not like that." I guess it was a mixture of hormones, frustration and stand offishness, but I started to cry. I was so pissed at myself for crying that I made myself cry more. So I guess most of the stuff is settled between me and my dad, I didn't tell him everything I wanted to, but I don't need too. I think we're going this weekend to look at cars.

After dad left I cried into my pillow, "I wish Wes was here." was all I could say. I think that if he was here I would tell him all that was going on and everything would be better because somehow he'd make me feel loved. When I went out to eat something Erika looked at me, like I was beneath her or something. Maybe she saw me cry, I hate crying because to me it makes me seem weak. Anyway I didn't look at her or Jane because right now I'm still irritated with them both.

I finished the rest of my homework. I'm left feeling like me and dad are good now. I hope that he didn't tell Jane what went on, but then again I could care less because she's in the same boat as Erika. I read my messages and I realized that people do care about me. Brandi thank you for that message. I'm still puzzled by Ricky's and I don't know where he's at right now. Eh, I don't have anything to worry about.

Now when my grandma calls I think I'll be able to tell her that I talked to him, not about what I really wanted to, but still I did. She'll be happy. I shouldn't keep things from her, but I don't want to hurt her with the truth.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today, a better day.

Theresa

urban | glitz