urban glitz

A change
...written on March 16, 2005, @ 19:35

I'm not just cleaning my room, but my soul

So I found out, through reading her diaries, that Maile is back with Jared. It's her life, I know, but I'm not so sure if it's best for her to be with him. All they do is argue and that's not good for her, she was doing so good in anatomy when she was single now she's desperately trying to keep her grades up. I'm her friend and she knows that I like Jared as a person (he's actually kind of nice), but as her boyfriend I'm not sure if it's good for either of them. I know her mom is pissed, she didn't like Jared at all. I just hope that things for Maile and Jared are better this time around, third time's the charm, right?

Erika left yesterday and I was happy about that. I'm HOME ALONE! I can actually concentrate on what I need to do, like homework. Her friends don't even call that late now. Well this person called at like 10:30 last night and this is how the conversation went:
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello?
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello?
*I hang up*
I do NOT like it when people do that crap, YOU CALLED MY HOUSE, you don't say "hello"! Maybe I should've have hung up, but if it was important then they would've called back, right? No call back so I just went on watching tv.

I woke up at 9:30 this morning and was eating breakfast before 10AM. I did good, I'm usually up at 10 and lucky if I eat before 12PM. I watched a little bit of Big Fish, I hate watching something halfway through so I just went to my room and started on my anatomy. I put in The Postal Serivce and did my anatomy, it was hard for me to get in the mindset of "homework", but I did good. I had a new CD and I haven't done much of anything since break started. But I got all the questions answered except for about two and I have to do the vocab, plus I plan on coloring the color plates she gave us so I can UNDERSTAND what I'm doing. The respiratory system isn't as easy as you think it is, and we're only doing the superfical muscles. Oh well, I'm going to be taking it again in college anyway.

I cleaned the bathroom. It was in need of some cleaning. It's a good thing that Erika's gone because I know it'll stay clean for more than a couple of hours. I even put a candle in there so it smells cinnamon fresh. I took all my candle holders and cleaned off of the wax because it was really getting to me. I was going to clean my room, but I decided not to so I could have something other than study to do tomorrow. Cleaning is good for me, it helps me think. Cleaning my room tomorrow will help me let go of a few people and issues that I have. It seems that all the guys in my life have left me, or I just realized they've left me, and I need to get of it already. No living in the past, it's the present and it's called that for a reason. I'm not going to forget about them, I could never forget about anyone, I just need to move on and accept that their path has caused them to move elsewhere in life. Ah speaking of guys, I was taking a little break from anatomy and was on the computer when Brian Hays IMed me telling me to tell Erika something. I told him, "no" and that I didn't know him. Yeah on the surface that seemed mean and he said, "Oh it's on." Well I'll let you know that we were like best friends while I was at Jarman Jr. High and I did EVERYTHING for him, to the point where if he did something mean to me I'd say sorry to him. Then one day he called and wanted to talk to Erika and never talked to me - ah the power of a girl who doesn't brush her teeth. I realized that he used me. I was hurt, but I moved on a vowed that I'd never be nice to him. So I haven't. That's why I'm always defensive when it comes to guys, I always think that they like Erika and that they're trying to use me to get to her. See I do have a reason for that. But it worked out in the end, he's been in and out of juvie and under house arrest.

A thought I had while I was watching an advertisement for the Slipknot concert was what they "sing" isn't music. Yes I know Sally and Shelly you LOVE them, but to me that's not music. You can't even really understand them, some of their softer stuff I like, but what they're know for, no way that's music. I know music is like religion and to each his own, but seriously the only way you like that is if you can really connect to them and feel the pain they SCREAM about or you're trying to be cool and pretend to like it for your goth facade. Sally and Shelly you guys probably feel the pain they talk about, but you know what I'm talking about like Kira - who doesn't know who's who. I guess what I'm saying is that if you're pretending to like something to hold up and image, don't. Be yourself. I like Britney Spears and Michael Jackson and I'm not afraid to say it. If I had a car I'd cruise down 12th ST listening to them.

Jackson Trial: I don't think that he did any of what he's being accused of. Seriously it's like the Kobe case, people are just trying to get rich and their name in the paper. It's not because they're black, hell I think OJ did it, it's because of the evidence that supports not guilty. I'm tired of hearing about the Jackson trial, I was sick of it before it started.

I was going to try and get some songs loaded onto my MP3 player before I got lazy and I think I have to reload the software. I'm kind of irritated, but then I don't care. I really don't care much for the MP3 player, I didn't want it. But I guess it'll come in handy for all the trips I'll be taking this summer and for the band trips to come. The only thing is I need some batteries for it, don't you just hate that?

bored, a little tired, but still happy I don't have to go to school
Theresa

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