urban glitz

The Funeral
...written on March 26, 2005, @ 12:42

Nothing else seemed to matter

The night before the funeral I talked with my grandma about what happened and how I wanted to be there for Garrett. She told me the same things my mother told me, just let him know that I was there for him and go about things in a normal fashion. I talked to Erik as well, but it was for about a minute or so because I was still on the phone with my grandma and all he was doing was complaining about his ex Erica.

I fell asleep wondering how things were going to be for Garrett from now on. It's hard to think about the future without someone that's always been in your life. I woke up friday and put on my black skirt, pale purple shirt and black duster. I walked out the bus and there was Erika right behind me. I can't stand how my parents can't see that the only reason she's riding the bus is because they're home. Why can't she just do what she normally does? I'm waiting on my parents to tell me, "You need to wait for Erika and walk to the bus stop together." Because I will let them know the truth on how she NEVER rides the bus.

Everyone was like, "Aww, you look cute Theresa." I wasn't going for that. We had band in the chior room and what sucked was I was just complaining about being in there the day before. Mr. Smith sort of put the second clarinets on the spot too becuase of these three notes. I was basically the only one answering questions. Oh well we did good and I hope to work on those stupid notes. I saw all these people wearing their funeral garb and wondered, "Were they really going to pay their respects or were they going just to miss class?"

Anatomy was just note taking. Maile didn't take notes and I told her she could copy mine this weekend. We talked about how people were going that didn't have reason to go, like Matt and Kerenza. They weren't ever nice to Garrett and Matt KNOWS that Garrett didn't really like him. Why go?

At this point I'm not really glad about what we're doing in history. We're doing civil rights and it makes me hate white people. I know it's not the people in my history class's fault, but I can't help it. The weird thing is I only get that feeling in that class once I walk out of it I don't have that feeling anymore. We took a quiz and I got all the answers right. DOMINATED!

Mr. Flemming moved around the chairs and things so now the chairs I sat in are on the opposite side of the room. I got Addison to move with me, I like sitting next to him because he makes me laugh. So basically all the people who sat in the desks are still sitting in desks and Addison is still sitting next to me. We watched a movie on dreams and Tiffany, Addison and I started laughing when this little kid was describing his dream. It was the way he was talking and looking at the camera that made it funny. Vicki almost broke the picture behind her, she leaned her head back and the picture started to fall forward on ther and Kyle, happened twice.

I called my dad before 5th hour to make sure he had indeed checked me out. He got an attitude with me and I was like, "Wha?" I don't understand why he gets like that and I'm talking calmly to him. He doesn't like it if I get an attitude with him. Ugh, parents.

Took the vocab quiz in english and I missed six, five or which were the review part because I didn't pick the ANTYNOM. I was mad, but hey what can you do? We reviewed the pages in our grammer packet that are due on Wednesday. I left at 1:40 because Maile's mom told her that the parking lot was filling up quickly.

We went up to the church and it was PACKED! We were standing and once the family started to walk in and I saw Garrett I had to blink back the tears. We (Maile, her mom, Megan and I) were seated behind the family and I was about five pews behind Garrett. During the service the guy a pew behind Garrett would lean his head down and I could see Garrett and I would blink back tears. Half way threw the service Garrett had to comfort his aunt (his mom's twin sister) and I nearly bawled, but I kept telling myself I had to be able to comfort Garrett. Before they put the coffin in the hearse the guests were escorted out of the church and I got to see Jessica and her family. Her mom had been crying, you could tell it in her eyes. So I saw Garrett after the coffin was in the hearse and he was talking to other people. He was being his usual strong self. Maile's mom had to go somewhere so she couldn't drive in the procession, but we did (Maile, Megan and I). I never knew that other motorist had to stop like when a fire truck was coming down the road. We got to the gravesite and we listened to the service. Most of the band people congregated around Mr. Woodfield, he drove from Tulsa. He even said hey to me. When Maile's mom got there we went over to pay our respects to Garrett's family, but they were a lot of people just talking to his family so we couldn't. Garrett came out from under the tent and came to us and gave us hugs. You could tell that he had been crying because his eyes were puffy and red, I hugged him tight and used all my strength to keep myself from crying. He said he'd be at school monday. Walking away Maile's mom told me that I was great friend and that Garrett would need someone like me to be there for him. I nearly cried then too.

We drove Megan back to her car, then Maile's mom back to her car. We went to my house so I could take all my stuff out of Maile's car and change. She got to see my dirty room. My dad was all like, "Did you come home and change?" He hadn't seen me walk out of the house. I told him I wore it all day and he was like, "Finally." SHUT UP, I can't stand how he wants me to girlie when he raised me like a boy! He wants me to go to school all dressed up, why I'm going there to learn not to look cute for the guys.

We went back to Maile's house and I got a LIVESTRONG bracelet because she had ordered some. We went out to Chillino's for dinner. We just sat there and quoted some stuff off of Seinfeld. Her dad is really funny, he's got this really goofy laugh. Of course I spilled food on me and Mail's guard jacket. On the way back to their house we were just laughing so hard at her dad's laugh, then Maile's high pitch laugh. Man oh man my ribs haven't hurt that bad since the Al Quida voice. Soon Maile and I went out stalking, she was scared to drive up to Reily's house, but she did it and said, "It was a rush!" She left Jared a voicemail about his smoking weed and never wanting to talk to him again. We went with her mom to get gas and we got to listen to Ah-a's Take On Me on the way back to her house. They dropped me off and I'll be going back over there today so I can help Maile with the worksheet for anatomy.

I woke up today at around 9 this morning. I really didn't want to get up so I laid there. I finally took a shower and ate. I did everything that I needed to do before 12pm. I was proud of myself. But dad's not home and he said that we'd be going to the beauty place to see about a flat iron so I guess that's a bust. I hate when he does that. Why can't he just order the one I saw on tv? I know it's going to be cheaper.

Chatted with Isaac and found out about another band, Junior Boys. So I'll be searching for their cd next time I go to the store. I hope I find it because I really want to hear them, Isaac told me they sounded 80's, my favorite kind of music. I found this message from this person on what I said about god. The question I said was actually rhetorical. I said something in return and they're still talking to me telling me, "You need to find Jesus." I'm sorry, but church and all that isn't for me. I've got a pretty good idea on who it is that's leaving those messages too. But I could be wrong. I don't care, they have their oppinions and I have mine, if the messages they leave bother me enough I could delete them. But for now they can leave all the messages they want.

Everything seems so insignificat now that this has happened, maybe I can learn to be a better person from it?

Theresa

urban | glitz