urban glitz

Just plain tired
...written on April 07, 2005, @ 18:45

I've wanted to update, but I've just been tired.

School has been beating me. I haven't gotten much of any good sleep lately. I find myself wanting to stay up later and later, but saying to myself, "You're going to be hurtin' so bad in the morning." Which I do, I get up at the same time everyday weekday - 6AFREAKINGM! I get in the shower and it doesn't do me any good. By seven I'm actually awake. I try to hide the fact that I'm so tired or that I'm frustrated/upset about things so I can stay strong for my friends. I don't want to say that being there for my friends has taken it's tole on me, but sometimes always being the one people run too gets to you. I know they all mean well and it's not there fault because I want to help them with any and everything they're having problems with. DAMN ME BEING A LIBRA!!

Contest is wednesday and I'm pretty sure we're not ready. Jessica is pissed and thinking about getting Mrs. Schwarz to make her ineligible so she doesn't have to go to contest. She's mad that Mary is still first chair despite the fact that she hasn't been here through all the screaming fits Mr. Smith has gone through with Jessica and Ivan. She actually talked to Mr. Smith about it and he said he wasn't going to change it. Jessica is so pissed the only things that make her smile now are "Christina is praying for you" and "Karenza has herpes!" I have a soli part on the second movement and it sucks because I'm flat, if Jourdan was with me on it it would sound great because I can match her really well. But she wasn't here today so I got the soli part, great.

We've opened our cats to examine the digestive, circulatory and urinary systems. It's fun actually and I think my group is ahead of all the other ones. Zach kept coming over to our cat and I just turned my head like I was reading a poster on the wall. If I don't like you and I REALLY hate you I'm not going to look at you. Ask Wes, I did that to him when I gave him the slient treatment. So I made a B on our last test and it really made me mad because of the fact that there were questions on there that we did NOT go over and weren't in the notes. WHY does she do that?! FUCKING BITCH! Now we're grading this long structure and function worksheet and our cat lab test to name the structures is the 15th and our functions test is the 18th. I hope I get A's on those tests.

History has been fun actually. I'm really enjoying history and I want to learn about all the government conspiracies. I want to know why Sira Sira shot Bobby Kennedy and who shot Martin Luther King Jr., I wonder what life would be like now if they hadn't been shot? I'm getting pretty cool with John, Ian and Will. It's fun to make fun of them, but they also make fun of me because I'm going to be a cop when I get out of high school. They're boozers and they're like, "I'll run from you!" Yesterday we had a sub and Kendall (not MY Kendall) decided he was bored so he stapled his arms, ok? How dumb can you get? I'm so glad I'm not white because he would be the first person I kicked out.

Psychology has been great I got to read another script of Addison's, it was about a werewolf. It was funny because I knew who was in it but as I was reading it I was on the edge of my seat waiting to read what would happen next. We're learning about sexual things in there, it's so funny because we're learning about penis envy and castration anxiety. Funny things because Addison will just turn and look at me and we'll laugh. Good times, I'll miss that class the most from this year. Oh watch Love Sick, it's a really funny movie, we watched it while Flemming was gone for his cold.

English has been kind of laid back. Right now since we can't check out and read the Great Gatsby we're watching the movie. It's really funny and I'm thinking of renting it and watching it all at once. Sitting by the board has made it hard for me to pay attention, all I want to do is lean against it and sleep. We did a timed write and I think I did rather well, but then again I might not have. If I made a six that's an accomplishment for me. I really hope that I end up with an A in that class because I'm trying so hard, I missed only six on my grammar packet, it's a huge jump from sixteen!

For the past while Math has been participation points. I think I did well on my last test and there was a test that Garrett actually made higher than both Jessica and me. We're doing something like actual radicals or something and I did just about all I could do, then I just stopped doing it. I'll do it tomorrow because I'll be in Mrs. Howe's room because all the seniors will be watching a real court case. Garrett told me and Jessica that Audrey was mad at him because he "paid too much for the limo". WHAT? That girl is crazy, I would be happy to ride in a limo and not pay for it. She's white. Jessica said, "She's weird anyway." Whatever, that's Garrett's date. I still need a dress, yeah I'm such a procrastinator. I can't help it, where am I supposed to go? I think I'll go up to Sooner Mall or something to see about a dress.

The other day I was minding my own business and I looked on the counter adn I saw a YAHOO! Personal ad that had a white VW beetle on it that was $6,999. Seriously, my first thought was, "I want a four door." But I realized that car isn't for me, it's for their baby Erika. It's cool whatever, I'll just stand there and wait until dad decides to pick me up from practice. My main thing about a car is I want it so I can take people home from games and contest. I know no one's parents want to be up at the school waiting for us to get back at 2:30 sunday morning. Dad made me apply at Walgreens because Erika had. The moment he said that I didn't want to apply anymore. But I ended up doing it and since my previous work advisor was military personnel I'm hoping that I get picked because the military symoblizes respect and hard worker. Sad, but I'm also hoping that Erika doesn't get the job so I don't have to see her ugly face everday. How can any guy think that a girl who coughs and hacks like she's been smoking for 20 years is hot?

My grandma called and I had a long talk with her about the events that go on here. I told her about how I was cleaning the bathroom, not even finished, no rugs on the floor and Erika decides to take a shower. That's not the worse part, my parents were sitting RIGHT THERE and didn't bother to say, "Hey, wait until she's finished cleaning." I was so irritated, I just into my room and cried. I cried because I can't throw anything and I can't yell at people. My grandma told me stories about her life and it seems like we went through the same things, only her much worse than me. She told me that dad's not talking to me and showing emotion is his way of making me stronger, yeah fucking right. But she did say something that I agreed with, Erika was a lazy ugly bitch. She had me laughing, but it was cut short by Jane and Erika entering the house.

I ate with my parents and their friend and I sat in "Erika's seat" so she decided to sit next to me and had the nerve to ask me to pass her something. I just looked at the ketchup and my parent's friend passed it to her. Why am I going to be nice to her when she hasn't done shit for me? Oh yeah I heard that my parents expect me to come back while I'm at college, no fucking way that's happening, why come back when I don't even like it while I LIVE here? Then when they move to Italy they expect me to visit, and even pay for the ticket, HA! I'm NEVER going to visit them, they've done NOTHING for me, never been to a football game just to watch me march without grandma's being here.

Maile's having some problems with a so-called friend, Megan the retarded looking girl. We should go tp her car again, but this time put tampons dipped in taco sauce on it. Ha, that would be so fun! I'm worried about Maile, she's starting to hate band - something she's LOVED for the longest - she's not doing well in anatomy or any of her classes and she's been fighting with Jared and her mom. I want to be there for her, but I don't want to make her seem like she can't do anything herself. She get's her wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow and Mr. Westbrook is pissed at her because she'll miss contest. But then again that was his fucking mistake for not realizing she was his prized clarinet player.

Speaking of playing, Garrett is going to teach me to play bass drum. I love Garrett, although he is a freaking rude poof! Heard Scary Heights today on the anouncements, I was estatic and I learned my locker buddy likes the Postal Service also. COOL BEANS! Brian was having a little guy trouble, but now he's ok because he found some different eye candy, 20 year old eye candy.

I'm ending this because I still have about 15 more sturctures that I have to list their functions. DAMN MRS. BERG!

"vagina is a very dirty word"
Theresa

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